And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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