I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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