He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
