and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
