Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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