..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she smelled like a LAN party
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Help. Why am I so naked?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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