I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
