Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
