Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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