he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize