if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
