he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I FOUND THE LEGS
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
