It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
