it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
