I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize