One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
where does the pee come out of this thing
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This is classic penis vs brain.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
