Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize