They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
