Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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