you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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