I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
