i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
