We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
