you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We need a shit load of segways right now
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
