i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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