John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize