How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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