sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
