You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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