I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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