im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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