Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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