Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
BRING THE BAGELS
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
