i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
