nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
