whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
