Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
