I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
