If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
