Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
