dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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