no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
