wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
