bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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