Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
