my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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