I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
