just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
