her vagina looked like bernie madoff
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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