He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
