your room smells of hookers.
And success
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I need a beard to bite.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
