what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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