trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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