Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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