Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
