You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize