I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
