Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
