I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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