People with herpes should wear stickers.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
