I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize