Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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