He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
