Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize