Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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