i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
