all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Someone shattered a urinal.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
