I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I will be naked everywhere
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
