Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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