Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
