Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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