the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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